The Agile Framework (Parody) - By Dan Greenberg

Agile

The Comprehensive Guide

What is Agile?

There's a new framework in town and it's called Agile. It's very simple, in fact there are only three roles and two ceremonies. Try it and let us know what you think!

Agile Has 3 Roles

Agile Has 2 Ceremonies

1. Daily Status Update
• When: Every morning at 9AM
• Format
• The Boss receives a status report for each ticket on the group's board

                                e.g. "I made progress on this yesterday and will continue progress today"

• Anyone who has not yet spoken must now speak up and convince the Boss they are indeed doing work

                            e.g. "Though it is not represented on the board, I did work yesterday and will continue                                         to do work today."

• The Meeting Facilitator ensures that a status is given for every ticket on the board and that every person in the group has adequately proven that they are working

    2. Every-Other-Week Celebration of Work

• When: Every two weeks
• Format
• First and foremost, PowerPoint is required
• During this meeting, the Meeting Facilitator uses a set of PowerPoint slides to prove to a group of executives that this Boss's group of people is doing a lot of work

PowerPoint Slide # 36

• At the end, the Boss will reiterate that this group of people did a lot of work and then it is customary for the whole room to break out in applause

...and that's all there is to it!